Motivation vs. Discipline

What was the last thing in your life you began while you were really motivated? Was it a diet, a workout plan, a job, a relationship? What happened once your motivation started falling off? I know what used to happen to me; oops, I'd skip a day at the gym; oops, I'd cheat on my diet.

What would you tell yourself when you failed? "I've just got to get remotivated!"

If you're like most men, those short periods of remotivation resulted in short periods of success, not the long term realization of your goals. Motivation is great in the short-run, but motivation can't be relied on to achieve your long term goals.

The reason it doesn't last is that motivation is an emotional response. We get motivated when we're passionate, guilty, angry, or inspired; we get motivated by an event, New Year's resolutions, an upcoming wedding or vacation, attending a funeral. Have you ever gone to a funeral and thought to yourself "From now on, I'm going to live every day like it's my last." or at least "From now on, I'm going to appreciate my life every day." How long did that last?

The key to achieving your long-term goals, whether they be quitting cigarettes, being a loving husband and father, or making a living out of your passion for playing chess, is discipline.

The best definition I've seen for discipline is:
Discipline: remembering what it is that you want

Unlike motivation, discipline isn't emotionally inspired; because of that, discipline has staying power. A disciplined approach is much different than a motivated approach. The disciplined man knows that his motivation will wax and wane, but that his objective doesn't. He understands that there are some mornings he isn't going to "feel" like getting up early to hit the gym, but that because getting up early to hit the gym is going to get him what he wants, he'll do it anyways.

Marriages fall under the same pattern for most men; they fall in love and get married with the expectation that that same motivation will carry them through. Then, when the passion and excitement fades a bit, when their wife drives them crazy because they don't agree or see eye-to-eye on many of life's decisions, when their wives habits that used to be adorable, become irritating, they become demotivated, fall out of love, stop leading their family, and eventually get divorced.

The disciplined husband knows that he loves his wife, and that his passion for her will ebb and flow throughout their marriage. He also knows that when they are in one of those ebbs, it's only temporary and that he's truely happiest when he's being a loving husband and father. Remembering this let's the disciplined husband continue to dote on and to adore his wife even when things aren't perfect.

Where in your life is your primary drive your motivation level? Make the switch to discipline and you'll have more success in keeping long-term commitments and achieving long-term goals.

Until next time, Take the lead!

Jeremiah